Sorry for being away so long Tumblr. Things are hectic for me right now and I am unable to do my daily postings. But I am here, right now, because something absolutely amazing happened to me today and I had to take out the time to share this with you all. Please read to the end!
As I’m sure most of you know, today is the day we all participate in the Semicolon Project (If you are not aware of The Semicolon Project, please search it up). There’s no way I wasn’t going to participate in this so I drew two semicolons, one on each wrist. Most of the day proceeded just as any other, until I went grocery shopping in the evening. I was packing water bottle cases onto my shopping cart when a young girl/lady approached me from behind and called out to me. I stood up straight and asked her how I could help her. She was quite young, appearing to be between 18-25 years of age with a cast around her right wrist. She asked me to help her put a couple water bottle cases and a case of coke cans onto her cart. As I loaded the last case she suddenly gasped and whispered, Oh my God! When I asked her what was wrong, her eyes began to glisten and she quietly asked me, Is that a semicolon on your wrist? When I told her it was and raised my wrist for her to see more clearly, she then pulled her left sleeve up slightly and showed me her semicolonand-I’m not sure if she meant for me to see them-her scars. She told me that The Semicolon Project was the greatest thing she’s ever heard of because for quite some time, she had been struggling with her depression and self-harming without being able to turn to anyone. She’s been so alone all this time and afraid of anyone finding out about her pains because she had thought they would shun her and ridicule her. This morning, when she woke up and drew the semicolon on her wrist, she didn’t think she would see any other semicolons around. But to her surprise, her sister had one as well as some of her friends and then I, a complete stranger, had one too. That made her feel less alone. She realized that she had people around her that she could go to, maybe they would understand her and even support her. She never knew. She’s thought about taking her own life countless times but never did because "I’m always too scared that I would end up in hell for it." At this point she started crying out tremendously and I noticed her knees starting to give in. I instantly pulled her in and hugged her and to my surprise she was squeezing me back and began crying harder. Through her tears she continued on about all the things that she’s been through that caused her so much suffering throughout her years. She was a stranger to me but I could tell she was pouring her heart out. I was absolutely awestruck and did not know what to do but repeat the words, it’s okay, you’re still here, it’s okay, you’ll be alright, as I stroked her hair to calm her down.
After she had calmed she looked at me and asked, So, you’re in pain too? I looked at her and said, Yes, I am. She then scrunched her face and stated, But you look so happy. I paused for a moment and told her, Because I’m alive and I’m still here. I drew this semicolon because I want to let everyone I love and care about and even people I don’t know, but just happen to bump into, like you, know that we’re all going through something. There will always be people who can understand you but no matter what happens, there is always a solution. No matter what happens, life is a beautiful thing. You just have to stay strong and survive long enough for the sun to rise. And if we all support each other and are there for one another, it’ll make the night more bearable. Kind of like penguins when they huddle together in the winter you know? So I always want to remind the people around me that there’s always a way, just stay strong. Because they deserve it. She then stood up straight, wiped away her tears, and with a little smile said to me,
You do too…You just reminded me of something I read once. Pain isn’t meant to break us, it’s meant to make us stronger and better people.
She then apologized for freaking out (which I assured her there was no need) and thanked me for comforting her and quickly left the isle. I kind of stood there frozen, staring at the water bottles, not knowing what to do after that. On one side I felt sad for all the pain she was suffering from, on another I was happy that she was starting to turn a corner =), on another it felt good to be able to help someone release, and on another I was thinking about her quote. About pain not meant to break us, but make us better people and that I deserve happiness too. For the longest time, I really did not think I did deserve to be happy. Whenever I had the slightest bit of fun, I’d have an instant pang of guilt strike my heart. And here, a clear stranger was telling me I deserved happiness. This is the second person who’s told me that I deserve to be happy. It really hit home. It began with me comforting her, yet at the end of it, she had taught me to treat myself better and made me feel better about myself.
This goes to show us all, that every single one of us is going through something or some things. But no matter what, none of us is worthless or hopeless. We all have a bright future ahead of us and we all deserve to live to see our happy ending! We only need to stay strong, keep going, and NEVER GIVE UP! Each and every one of us, even without knowing it, will always have something that others can learn and gain from. So don’t write yourself off and don’t give in to your damaging thoughts! NO MATTER WHAT!! Reach out to one another and lean on each other!
Together, we can win! We can win together!